Job Opening: President of the USA

Originally drafted Aug-2017; republished (and still very relevant) Sep-2021

The 2016 US presidential election left me feeling like finding a qualified candidate to cast a vote for was slim pickings. Even early on nobody really jumped out to me as a candidate with the appropriate skill-set. We typically spend so much time moving right to the issues (which are often debates of topics that a President may have very little influence over and therefore really a waste of time for the candidates and the listeners) that we pass right over if a given person even has the appropriate skill set for the job regardless of how much we might agree with their political views. I’m not sure why we do this. I guess somehow we’re assuming “well if they made it this far, they must be qualified” but in 2016 I really was not convinced this was the case for any of the major candidates.

I propose considering this – how different would an election go if every candidate first had to apply like any other job and demonstrate that their qualifications met with expectations. After a solid candidate pool was established they could then be grouped by similar political platform, narrowed down to the top two or three, and then we allow those individuals to debate and run.

With that proposal in mind, I present the following to you in a half-serious but half-satirical manner – the job posting for the 2020 candidate for President of the United States of America. If nothing else, consider using it as a checklist for every candidate that tries to throw their hat in the ring next time around and maybe we can weed out a few more jokers a little earlier on and save us all some time.


Job Title: President of the United States of America

Summary: The USA is seeking a classy, competent, and strong leader for the position of President of the United States of America who will preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Start Date: January 2021

Location: Washington DC, USA, plus extensive travel

Duration: 4 years (may be extended depending on performance; may be shortened in the event of impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors)

Duties: Duties are to execute the powers vested per Article II of the Constitution of the United States of America, which include the following

  • Commander in Chief of the US military,
  • Conduct diplomacy with other nations, including making treaties,
  • Nominate and appoint various government staff, including ambassadors, Supreme Court judges, et al,
  • Advise the US Congress on the state of the union and make recommendations of measures for their consideration.

Minimum Qualifications:

  • Be chosen by the electors of the States, per Section 1, Article II of the Constitution,
  • Be a natural born citizen,
  • Attained the age of 35 years,
  • Been 14 years a resident within the United States.

Preferred Qualifications:

  • A working knowledge of the structure and content of the Constitution of the United States of America and related founding documents,
  • Competent in all applicable ways of communication and able to interact with all levels of government and citizens, particularly in the proper use of the language of English, both written and spoken,
  • Ability to maintain the physical stamina and mental clarity to continue to act appropriately to an ever-evolving and unpredictable environment,
  • Be competent in the use of modern technology applicable to an office environment that commonly handles sensitive information,
  • Demonstrate a modern knowledge of a variety of subjects including politics, law, geography, science, history, language, and economics,
  • Have extensive leadership experience including defusing adversarial conflict among coworkers and customers (military leadership experience strongly preferred),
  • Be viewed by peers with integrity and respect, and act honorably to therefore maintain sincere charisma throughout the duration of service,
  • Demonstrate the ability to select ethical candidates with a skill-set appropriate for the offices in which they will serve,
  • Extensive experience managing the operations of an organization; delivering to expectations of cost, schedule, and quality; including experience drafting project timelines, interpreting and reviewing balance sheets, and proposing balanced budgets; correcting and executing revised work plans as new information becomes available and priorities evolve,
  • Experience and ability to use problem solving skills and apply causal analysis in an environment often limited in time and other resources,
  • Ability to identify and eliminate wasteful allocation of resources,
  • Experience drafting, reviewing, and interpreting legal documents.

Benefits:

  • Annual salary,
  • Medical/health care provided,
  • Living expenses (including family),
  • Security protection.

About the Employer: The United States of America is a 241 year old federal republic composed of 50 states and located in the northern part of the western hemisphere. Its government is divided in to three branches: executive, legislative, and judicial. It includes nearly four million square miles, over 300 million people, and a variety of territories. As one of the most diverse and influential countries on the globe its selection of a President every four years draws much attention world-wide.

Application Process: A candidate with sufficient qualifications will need to be prepared to perform multiple debates with other candidates in a variety of locations in the months leading up to the electors of the states casting their votes. Support of major political parties is preferred but not required. Candidate will need to select a Vice President running mate with similar qualifications.